I'm 89.7% Dead

So I know everyone must be thinking..."Where the hell is Ben at?" At least through my conversations or things of that nature.

But I gotta tell you...I fucking hate school.

I am so overloaded with work. I hardly have any time to eat on some days, thus my performance as a human generally suck.

Plus I am in one hell of a slump/rut/emo/whatev-mood, if that's actually possible. I made a playlist of songs that solidify my current mind. Most of them are stereotypically me. While others for some reason hold more meaning through memories or things like that.

But also, here I am back at school. I really don't want to be here right now. Every time I feel as though I accomplished something, I get a shitload of new things to do. And I'm so burnt out.

Last night I had a whole bottle of champagne for Champagne Thursday. And then I walked Carmen back to her dorm and played in the late night rain while I was walking back to my room. Though I was completely drunk, that's what my life is like normally. I love enjoying the intangible beauties of life.

So now I sit in my room, mildly depressed because I don't have anyone to talk to or even interact with. So I turn my music up and sit in the wreck that I created last night in search for a sobering cigarette.

List:

• take out trash (three milk jugs, empty haagen-dazs, one million jones soda bottles and four mountain dew bottles)
• wash dishes/wine glasses (from a week ago)
• do math homework (haha, to draw a scaled rendering of my dorm room)
• commence group project on Spanish renaissance room
  
• final draft nkba kitchen and bath floorplans/commence cabinetry schedule
• research "eco-camps" and begin presentation design
• do 3-d design of interior on computer for presentation
• pick a building to research (pre-history thru neo-classicism)
• begin studio perspective

And once that's done, I'll jump off of a cliff.

And to make things worse...I need severe attention.